Mommy Loves Her Boys!

It is Monday evening and I have been staring at my sleeping boys. Jonathan has been asleep for a couple of hours now (a long nap for him) and Ethan is asleep on the couch after bottle feeding for a bit and then falling asleep. He is now finishing his feed through his G Tube. I love them so much! I can't believe how much the Lord has blessed me with such beautiful boys. Thank you God! I often just sit and stare at them whether they are awake or not and feel so much love for them. When they smile at me or when Jonathan says he loves me, I know they love me too. I cherish the times when I can spend one on one time with Jonathan now. Those times are so few and far between with Ethan being so needy, but that has slowly gotten a little better and I have been able to spend more time with Jonathan over the last few weeks. I cherish every opportunity with him now, especially an uninturrupted one. Now that Ethan is doing so well, I feel better about leaving Ethan to play for a bit by himself so I can spend time with Jonathan. Just the fact the Ethan is doing so well and the docs are so pleased with his progress and growth, I feel like all our hard work over the last 5 months has now paid off.

When I look back over the last 5 months, there were some really low times that's for sure. Ethan being born with birth defects had to be one of the lowest points in my life. The slow growth and the constant crying for weeks on end really tried both Bob and I and i'm sure Jonathan didn't enjoy it much either. Staying faithful though and thanking God for the positive things and thinking about the positive things in such difficult times has really helped get me through the last 5 months. I know that in the long run, all this love and hard work with Ethan will have paid off. Like I said, it already has and I know it will only continue to get better.

Whether I run my hand through Jonathan's hair or hold him while he sits in my lap or listen as he says "Please Momma or Thank You Momma". Whether he comes over to grab my hand so I can dance with him or when he calls my name to watch him copy a video he is watching. As I softly wipe the milk away from Ethan's cheek or gently clean his wound. Or as he smiles at me and laughs or just sits there and tells me a story. I am reminded of how much I love my boys. Who can resist these beautiful faces. This is my favorite picture of them. I love you Jonathan. I love you Ethan.

-Dina